Friday, 5 October 2012

Chinks of Light and De-Cluttering

Last week I got signed off work with Depression, now my sick days have shot through the roof, which will no doubt mean a meeting without coffee with my new Line Manager. 

Yes, I have another one. This is the third since the the whole process of me being Medically Retired/Dismissed started up in February!

The first couple of days I felt pretty upset about the whole thing. Then on the Sunday I went to Redhill with Himself, for the presentation of his award for doing over 500 voluntary hours as a Community First Responder



One of the awards was presented to a little girl of seven, whose family home had been devastated by the earthquakes in Christchurch, New Zealand for the bravery she had shown. As I sat there I felt so guilty, this little girl had so much more courage than I, as she stood in front of us all to accept her award.

I decided there and then, things had to change and soon!

The very next day I decided to start de-cluttering and cleaning my house and therefore my life, with the help of Badger Boo, we got loads done.



My head is no where near as clear as my house yet, but as the days wore on and I was keeping busy I started to see chinks of light. I could sit around and mope, or I could start to make some plans for the rest of my life. 

I have had what I think is a brilliant idea for a business. I don't want to say too much just yet, as I have a lot of research to do and it might not even be viable. But rest assured as soon as I know for sure, I will write a post about it.

I've had a couple of massive panic attacks this week, and only been out of the house twice, the obsessive thoughts are still rattling around in my head but I do feel slightly less blue, and then I got the most beautiful flowers from Himself to cheer me up.


I posted  this picture of them on facebook which then resulted in a lovely conversation, one comment that stood out from the rest was made by Louise Wright. With her permission I have copied it here:-

 "I understand where you are at Dawn. But please just pause for a minute and look past the blue and concentrate on the reds, pinks, violets. Seriously, just for a short while forget everything and just love those flowers."

Without the love and support of my wonderful friends, I think I would still be spiraling down, not clawing my way back up to the light

Thank you, you know who you are  ♥♥♥

12 comments:

  1. Congratulations Himself lovely to be recognised.

    I'm intrigued by your ideas and glad to hear you are starting to see the light, cleaning the house though! Isn't that a bit over the top?

    A beautiful comment from Louise, the colours are amazing in your flowers, you are so lucky to have a lovely kind bloke x

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    1. Thanks Amy, the cleaning is part of the OCD lol

      xxx

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  2. Lovely flowers.
    Congratulations to Himself for his award....I'm glad to have met him, as well as you and Badger!!
    And I'm glad that one of your times out... well, no..maybe it was both?? ...anyway, I'm just glad that we got to spend time together.

    Thanks for being there for me too, my friend. xx

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    1. Thanks Michele, it was lovely to get out and see you, we must do it again sometime.

      You have my number ring any time xxx

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  3. I'm glad your outlook is more positive....you have been through alot lately! You are stronger than you think and a better person than your bosses give you credit for. And....congrats to Himself....wel ldone!

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    1. Thanks for the lovely comment Betsy/Nellie I think I'm on the way up now.

      xxx

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  4. An amazing blog post - just shows the depths and the heights humanity endures. I think your friend is extremely wise, taking time to focus on the small beauty around you is such a great idea. I read a quotation yesterday about people not being grateful to be happy, but rather being happy because they're grateful (or along those lines!) - it made a lot of sense to me.
    x

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment Lo-Lo.

      Your quote makes a lot of sense x

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  5. Hi Dawn, so lovely to read this post from you x.
    Still catching up, so all OK today?

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    1. Thanks Lesley, I'm a little behind on my replies at the moment, all is well here.

      xxx

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  6. I'm so sorry you have been signed off work, but happy to hear you are gathering the strength within you and something positive is starting to appear. The flowers are beautiful, a reminder that not everything in the world is bleak. You must have been so proud of your lovely man getting recognition for all those hours. I have every faith your possible business venture will be a success. Keep going, you're stronger than you think. Thinking of you xxx

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    1. Thank you, yes very proud of Himself he does a good job rushing out to local people as soon as the phone goes off..

      xxx

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