Chinks of Light and De-Cluttering

Last week I got signed off work with Depression, now my sick days have shot through the roof, which will no doubt mean a meeting without coffee with my new Line Manager. 

Yes, I have another one. This is the third since the the whole process of me being Medically Retired/Dismissed started up in February!

The first couple of days I felt pretty upset about the whole thing. Then on the Sunday I went to Redhill with Himself, for the presentation of his award for doing over 500 voluntary hours as a Community First Responder. 



One of the awards was presented to a little girl of seven, whose family home had been devastated by the earthquakes in Christchurch, New Zealand for the bravery she had shown. As I sat there I felt so guilty, this little girl had so much more courage than I, as she stood in front of us all to accept her award.

I decided there and then, things had to change and soon!

The very next day I decided to start de-cluttering and cleaning my house and therefore my life, with the help of Badger Boo, we got loads done.

My head is no where near as clear as my house yet, but as the days wore on and I was keeping busy I started to see chinks of light. I could sit around and mope, or I could start to make some plans for the rest of my life. 

I have had what I think is a brilliant idea for a business. I don't want to say too much just yet, as I have a lot of research to do and it might not even be viable. But rest assured as soon as I know for sure, I will write a post about it.

I've had a couple of massive panic attacks this week, and only been out of the house twice, the obsessive thoughts are still rattling around in my head but I do feel slightly less blue, and then I got the most beautiful flowers from Himself to cheer me up.

I posted  this picture of them on facebook which then resulted in a lovely conversation, one comment that stood out from the rest was made by Louise Wright. With her permission I have copied it here:-

 "I understand where you are at Dawn. But please just pause for a minute and look past the blue and concentrate on the reds, pinks, violets. Seriously, just for a short while forget everything and just love those flowers."

Without the love and support of my wonderful friends, I think I would still be spiraling down, not clawing my way back up to the light

Thank you, you know who you are  ♥♥♥