Tuesday, 6 March 2012

"Baby Steps" and "Panic Attacks"

Last night I took the bull by the horns, and went out alone to meet people I don't know in a pub. 
As a Recovering Alcoholic with Social Phobia it was a massive thing for me to do!!!

I've wanted to relearn knitting for some time now, to keep my hands flexible with the Arthritis, I've made enquires about private lessons but the cost was way beyond my budget, so I had to give up on that idea.

Whilst browsing twitter yesterday, I stumbled across a retweet about something called "Stitch 'n' Bitch" at The Snug Bar in Godalming.

Question to self:- 
I live in Godalming, I've been to The Snug Bar.
Could I really overcome my panic attacks and pluck up the courage to go?

If I want to do it, it's only myself holding me back!!!

Funny thing is, anybody that knows me thinks I'm a confident
person. I have learnt to hide my problem well.
But hiding problems will never solve them!!!

When I got home I walked in the door and announced I was going out tonight! I think Himself was shocked, but was full of encouragement. I decided to have my Dinner before leaving as I could feel the panic building!!!

I then picked up my latest cross stitch project, stood by the front door debating for a while. Then opened it, got in the car and off I went. No Badger Boo, no Himself, I was on my own and I was going out!!!

Walked up and down outside The Snug Bar for a few minutes, the opened the door and in I went. 
Then I froze!!!

OMG where where they? 

I saw a group of people up at the back, counted to 10 and started forward. Thankfully it was them. My biggest fear is looking a complete fool, I think I managed that one ok when I tried to speak, but everybody was so welcoming I soon started to relax, and even showed off my latest project which went down very well.

I've done it once, so I can do it again and will be returning. 
I had an enjoyable evening with some lovely people, not once was I asked why I was on soft drinks, which makes things so much easier

Hopefully next time I go, I will actually remember the names of some of the wonderful people I met last night.

It takes time to learn to control "Panic Attacks" so if you know somebody who seems shy or comes across as abrupt, it may be that they have their own inner demons! 

Be nice to them, it's amazing how much it can help their situation!!!

Click here if you want to know more about "Godalming Stitch 'n' Bitch"

I'm so glad I did...


  1. Hi Dawn,

    What a great post! It raises so many social issues, things we should all be aware of, every day.

    I love finding out about people, everyone is so special.

    Lesley x.

    1. Thank you Lesley, sometimes I find it helps to write things down.

      If it can also help to give somebody else confidence, so much the better.

      I always try to treat people as I want to be treated.

      What a lot of people don't realise is how they interact with others can impact that persons day for the good or the bad...

      Dawn xxx

  2. We were thrilled to have you with us. Having not read your blog before, I had no idea you suffered from panic attacks. Most of us were on soft drinks due to driving anyway, so the only thing that marked you out was your OUTSTANDING cross stitch! Looking forward to seeing you again next time x

    1. Thank you, I had a brilliant time last night and looking forward to coming again, maybe even arriving on time and remembering everybodies names.

      The brain was on overload last night, glad my stress wasn't obvious.

      Dawn xxx

  3. Well Done Dawn,

    It is not easy to do what you did and should be proud of yourself.

    As for drinking soft drinks a lot of people do. I do not drink because of the medication i am on. You have done well to overcome this and you do come across as very confident but like you we all have things in our lives that people dont know about.

    June xxx

    1. Thanks for your kind words June..

      Still taking baby steps and probably will for a long time yet, next time I go will be a lot easier I'm sure, as I won't be stepping into the unknown. I may have won this battle but I haven't won the war yet!

      I have had some amazing feedback and encouragement about this posting on twitter from people I don't even know, and it has made my confidence feel sky high!

      That first step is always the hardest to take, but once taken and overcome I know that things should start to look up.

      I can't let this irrational fear rule my life any longer, it is totally holding me back, and it looks like I will be making new friends along the way, which is something I have always avoided in the past.

      Dawn xxx

  4. Well i have to admit this blog got me going i was nearly in tears reading it but don't get me wrong me dear i was busting with pride for u!!! I no how much that trip out for u on ur own could av gone so differently but u did it hun and ur planning on going back which is bloody fantastic . . . I can't stop smiling now lol ur such a lovely, kind n special person i only wish more of my friends knew u :) XX big hugs for u and a very big WELL DONE XX

    1. Thank you for your kind words I'm blushing now!!! I have had so much fantastic feedback for this post, and my confidence is now very high..

      It has amazed me how many people suffer with similar problems, and have contacted me and now feel inspired to work towards their own solutions...

      I wish you had left your name so I could thank you personally..

      Thank you again...

      Dawn xxx

  5. Lol it was me "/ i can't get onto my Gmail account so have to post as anonymous

    xx Lou xx

    1. LOL you daft bugger... I think you can use either NameURL or NameID and you just put your name in the box... Ask June, I think that's how she does it xxx

  6. A really great post and a BIG well done. Onwards and upwards

    1. Thank you Jill, saw you Blog too, very good..

      Dawn xxx

  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. I have no problem publishing spiteful comments, providing you are brave enough to put you name, you weren't so it has been removed.

      Grow a backbone, I know who you are **points finger**

  8. Shame about the last poster - there's always one idiot isn't there!?

    Well done you, I've suffered from panic attacks in the past and find social situations very difficult at times.... so empathise fully. Hope it is getting easier and easier for you day by day xxxx

    1. Thanks Lauren, things are so much better now than since I wrote this post originally.

      I'm a fairly tough old bird most of the time so I don't let it get to me too much, but will not tolerate people who don't add their name. Obviously some people do have to use the anonymous option occasionally and can say what they want so long as they add who they are somewhere in the post.



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