Return to Work Today ~ But Not Me

How strange it feels that everyone is going back to work today. My diary is full of things to do this week, but as I sit here I feel strangely odd.

I can't get my motivation going.

 I phoned work for a chat to find out where my last pay slip was, as it hasn't arrived yet. Although my last pay check thankfully went into the bank on time. I went to the hospital this morning to see the Pysio-Terrorist who is pleased with my progress and discharged me, so my back is apparently much better now, I beg to differ, but I've had my six appointments.

Oh and I've also emptied the airing cupboard.

So what to do now I wonder?

Badger Boo is out with his Walker so he is having some fun with all his buddies, hope he doesn't roll in any Fox Poop, I don't feel up to giving him a bath today.

When I say I feel odd, it is hard to describe. I never realised what a massive part of my life work and the people there were to me. There was always someone to talk too or something to do, and as I sit here the only things I feel is bored and lonely, there is no one to phone and the TV is rubbish. Work certainly kept me entertained!

I've tried to do my coursework this morning, but I find it so boring, and do I really need to do it now? I could try to figure out how to write a CV I suppose. 

Whatever happened to the days when you saw a job, went for an interview and either got it or didn't? I went into a local retail shop before Christmas that had a job advertised in the window, I spoke to the manageress and was told to hand in a CV, even though we'd spoken for about 15 minutes. I haven't handed one in, as I haven't the faintest idea how to write one, and the job is still advertised! 

I can sell just about anything, I have the cheek to always get a discount and I have the "Gift of the Gab" so why should it matter whether or not I can write a stupid CV? 

I can't wait for tonight, cos its Stitch 'n' Bitch night at The Star, Godalming, so at least I will be out and about chatting to my friends. Think I'll go and make myself some Lunch now, then maybe go and have a look at that massive pile of ironing, I may even get around to doing some of it...

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Finger Physio Overload

I've been knitting like a mad thing over the last few weeks to try and get my jumper finished.

I took up knitting again as I was in serious need of some finger physio as I have Arthrits in my hands. To say things didn't go well at the start is an understatement and you can read about that little trauma here.

The pattern was simple enough knit four purl two, then the next row was purl four knit two, these two little stitches made quite an impressive pattern I thought.

Looks a lot more complicated than it is...

Knitting and Crochet

I needed to do something to keep my hands supple as I have really bad Arthritis in them.

My Granny taught me to knit and crochet as a child, and I thought it would be good to do it again for my hands. But when I looked into lessons they were so expensive!

I saw on twitter that a Stitch & Bitch group had started in my area and was having it's second meeting that night.

So I dug out some needles and wool and had a go, I didn't want to turn up if I'd forgotten how to do it.

I was quite pleased with my first effort.

So then came the hard bit, actually getting there as I suffer from 

Panic Attacks, I did get there, and met some wonderful people who made me feel most welcome.

"Baby Steps" and "Panic Attacks"

Last night I took the bull by the horns, and went out alone to meet people I don't know in a pub. 

As a Recovering Alcoholic with Social Phobia it was a massive thing for me to do!!!

I've wanted to relearn knitting for some time now, to keep my hands flexible with the Arthritis, I've made enquires about private lessons but the cost was way beyond my budget, so I had to give up on that idea.

Whilst browsing twitter yesterday, I stumbled across a retweet about something called "Stitch 'n' Bitch" at The Snug Bar in Godalming.

Question to self:- 

I live in Godalming, I've been to The Snug Bar.

Could I really overcome my panic attacks and pluck up the courage to go?

Answer:-

If I want to do it, it's only myself holding me back!!!

Funny thing is, anybody that knows me thinks I'm a confident