Happy New Year - Yes I'm Back

Going into 2019 with a clear heart and mind.

If you owe me, don't worry about it - you're welcome.

If you've wronged me, it's all good - lesson learned.

If you're angry with me, you've won - congratulations.

If we aren't speaking, it's cool - life goes on and I wish you all the best.

If you feel I've wronged you, I apologise.

If you're waiting on me to fail, don't hold your breath - you'll have a long wait!
I've already overcome more than you can imagine.

Focus on making your life better for you and watch how doors open.

Life is too short for all the pent up anger and holding grudges.

Here's to 2019
Best wishes to everybody in the New Year
 😘♥️🎉

Where Have I Been?

Hello all, yes it's me, I'm really back again!

So much has happened since I closed this blog down I don't know where to start, so I've cheated and imported posts from the other blog I was writing if anybody is in the mood to read them and catch up.

I've really missed the frankness of this blog and saying what I truly feel about situations and the people that annoy me.

There have been some significant changes in my life since I closed this blog in 2014.

The bastards at work finally wore me down into accepting medical retirement.

In September 2014 the Beautiful Boris came into my life and I've spent the last 3 years training him to become my fully qualified Assistance Dog.

Things weren't plain sailing though, Boris needed surgery at Fitzpatrick Referrals aka The Supervet as he has something called Fragmented Coronoid Process in his elbows, thankfully he's made a full recovery.

We then got mixed up with an awful charity that made all sorts of big claims to help me train Boris, but didn't deliver on any of their promises so we left after nearly a year.

Which led us to meet the wonderful people at Canine Generated Independence which is a not for profit organisation that helps disabled people to train their own dogs as Assistance Dogs. They have been absolutely amazing helping Boris and I on this journey, we took our final assessment in February of this year and passed.

Sadly in August 2015 I lost my sweet Badger Boo aged 13.5 years after a nasty bout of Pancreatitis, still really miss the little guy like crazy and he's partly the reason I stopped blogging altogether, I just couldn't face seeing his pictures all the time.

I still have the allotment and I still do my knitting and card making, I've now had both my knees replaced, although things have got complicated since it was discovered there's now Arthritis in my back and under one of my knee caps, but I just take things at my own pace, one day at a time and get on with my life.

This post is just a brief round up to let you all know I'm still here and back to blogging again, if you what to know more of what I've been up too since I left, just check out the posts I've uploaded from my other blog in the archive since my Good Bye post in April 2014.

I'm not sure if my schedule will be the same as before, but will defiantly not be leaving it for so long next time, I'll probably be posting weekly until I get back into the swing of things again and figure out which Blog Hops are around nowadays.

Don't let the buggers grind you down and see you soon,

xxx

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Where Has The Time Gone

Can't believe it's been four months since I last posted!!

I had my replacement knee surgery done approx 8 weeks ago, so getting used to that at the moment.

Boris is doing really well at his Assistance Dog training and recently passed his Silver K9 Good Citizens award.

We have a lovely 121 trainer called Kiri from Paws in the Pink who's been helping me to teach Boris to Hold items and put them straight into my hand, he'd developed a cheeky habit of turning his head away every time you asked him for something and refusing to give it up, not in a bad way, it was more like he was teasing me. So with lots of practicing and treats Boris happily holds things and hands them to me at last.

So much has happened it's hard to know where to start, but most importantly I'm doing the Parallel Push/Run in London on the 4th September and just waiting for my Just Giving page to go live so I can start raising money for RECOVERY Assistance Dogs.

This is going to be a massive challenge for me with my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Social Phobia and Panic Attacks, but I'm looking forward to completing it, with Boris by my side I'm a lot stronger now than when I last wrote a post.

I hope everyone is keeping well and I'll update you again very soon.

I've Not Been Blogging Because....

The last 6 months have been really tough, I've not blogged about it as I'm scared to open the flood gates

 I've been in so much pain with my Arthritis but the worst of it is, my right hand is starting to seize up, I can hardly use it some days. It's hard to remain upbeat and carry on as normal, sometimes it easier to just sit and ignore the fact that life is passing me by when I'm terrified of what the future holds for me.

At last I've received the good news that my arm is finally starting to heal, although still very painful I've started seeing the Physio-Terrorist as my movement is still very restricted and I can't lift anything much as it just gives way making me drop the item I was trying to lift. 

Himself still has to get hot items out of the oven when I'm cooking Dinner or it ends out on the floor, the whole situation is really starting to get to me now, it feels like my independence has been stripped away.
I'm slowly but surely getting into a routine again, the days were flying by and I wasn't achieving anything much at all.

Back in the middle of July my sweet Badger Boo's health started to take a turn for the worst, and we found out he was suffering from Pancreatitis. He was most unwell but the medication gave him a few good days pain free, then he'd relapse again.
 I started to worry that maybe I was prolonging his life for my own selfish reasons as he'd been my constant companion for 13.5 years, but then suddenly he'd appear well again bouncing around the house, it was a difficult time and in my heart of hearts I was hoping Mother Nature would take him and let him pass away quietly in his sleep.

But No, life is never that easy, when on a little potter down the road, the big walks had stopped by now, Badger Boo appeared to stumble slightly and became crippled lame, he couldn't even put his foot on the ground so I rushed him straight to the vets.
When we got there the vet suspected he may have broken his leg as it felt crunchy inside, we talked about the various options, although none seemed to have a very promising outcome in view of his age, health and previous issues with anaesthetics.
On August 19th I took the heart breaking decision to let him go after one last night at home with us, he was on heavy painkillers and got spoilt rotten and slept all night on my lap.
How I miss my little buddy.

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Where Do I Start?

Looking back I see that my last proper blog post was over 6 months ago now!

Where has that time gone?

So much has happened, but not all in a good way I'm sad to say, I've sat at my PC many times intending to blog, but never got further than a title or the first words of a sentence.

So as not to bore you with the longest post ever about what's been happening, I'm going to break it down into several parts.

The pain from my Arthritis was getting very bad and I was hardly knitting or doing any form of crafting, looking back now I think I was being chased by that big Black Dog of Depression, I couldn't shake the beast off, no matter how hard I tried, so I just allowed myself to succumb.

In June I was scheduled to have my left knee replaced, I was feeling really nervous, having had the right one done last year I knew what was coming. We decided to have a weekend away at East Wittering before the surgery as I'd be laid up for a while afterwards.
First order of the day was to take Boris to the beach as on previous visits he was still on restricted exercise from his surgery, so had to stay on the lead. As you can see he certainly threw himself into having a great time on the beach.

Love, love, love swimming in the sea, much more fun than paddling in muddy puddles :)
Posted by What Boris Did Next on Saturday, 20 June 2015

When we got back to the camper van disaster struck, somehow I overbalanced and fell smashing myself into the rear of the van, I have no memory of what happened, just that the pain in my arm was excruciating!

I was unable to get up because of my dodgy knee not being able to support me and every time I tried to move I screamed out in agony, I could feel the bones moving around inside my arm. I'm pretty sure my language must have been appalling at this point, I've never felt pain this bad EVER, I felt like I was going to pass out at any moment.

Himself had to call an ambulance, as I needed one of those pillow things they pump up under my backside to help me stand up. The X-Rays revealed I fractured my Humerus bone in six places near the top.

 I couldn't wear a cast because of the location of fractures, so had to wear a cuff sling, with my hand up near my chin for six weeks, there was also talk about the very real possibility I would need surgery to repair it.

 Week 1

The photo doesn't do the bruise justice as it was almost black!

 





Week 3
The elbow and inside of my arm are still black and blue as the bruise travels down to the lowest point, again the photo doesn't show the true black and blue of it.

 To make matters even worse my knee replacement surgery had to be cancelled, I have no idea when that will be rescheduled for again.

At my six week check up the X-Rays were disappointing as so very little healing had happened, I'm still having to wear the sling 12 weeks on, I'll find out this week if any more healing has happened. Its still very, very painful but I do have some movement in it now which I didn't before.

That's just about it for today, I'd forgotten how much concentration it takes for me to write a post and I'm feeling really tired at this point.
I'll update you again in the next day or two.

This post is linked to the Creative Mondays and Handmade Monday Blog Hops.
 

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Silent Sunday

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Silent Sunday

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Silent Sunday

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Dogs Like Knitting Too

I know I've been so very tardy about posting lately, but I have been busy knitting for the dogs.

I know **grins** but I don't have small people to knit for anymore and as most of you know my dogs are my babies.

I mentioned a few weeks ago I was knitting Badger Boo a jumper, he's been feeling the cold indoors due to hair loss from his medication. I love this pattern so much, as it uses my two favourite stitches Cables and Moss Stitch. 

Badger Boo was having a shy day when I took these photos and refused point blank to look at the camera, luckily it's the jumper I was photographing not him LOL.

I used a free pattern off Ravelry which can be found here. 

I've also been busy sewing the knitted squares together my mum gave me to make a blanket for Boris to cover his crate at night and keep him toasty warm. 

I'm linking this week's post to My Sunday Photo and tomorrow I'll also add it too the Creative Mondays and Handmade Monday Blog Hops.

 

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