I've Not Been Blogging Because....

The last 6 months have been really tough, I've not blogged about it as I'm scared to open the flood gates 

I've been in so much pain with my Arthritis but the worst of it is, my right hand is starting to seize up, I can hardly use it some days. It's hard to remain upbeat and carry on as normal, sometimes it easier to just sit and ignore the fact that life is passing me by when I'm terrified of what the future holds for me.

At last I've received the good news that my arm is finally starting to heal, although still very painful I've started seeing the Physio-Terrorist as my movement is still very restricted and I can't lift anything much as it just gives way making me drop the item I was trying to lift. 

Himself still has to get hot items out of the oven when I'm cooking Dinner or it ends out on the floor, the whole situation is really starting to get to me now, it feels like my independence has been stripped away.
I'm slowly but surely getting into a routine again, the days were flying by and I wasn't achieving anything much at all.

Back in the middle of July my sweet Badger Boo's health started to take a turn for the worst, and we found out he was suffering from Pancreatitis. He was most unwell but the medication gave him a few good days pain free, then he'd relapse again.
 I started to worry that maybe I was prolonging his life for my own selfish reasons as he'd been my constant companion for 13.5 years, but then suddenly he'd appear well again bouncing around the house, it was a difficult time and in my heart of hearts I was hoping Mother Nature would take him and let him pass away quietly in his sleep.

But No, life is never that easy, when on a little potter down the road, the big walks had stopped by now, Badger Boo appeared to stumble slightly and became crippled lame, he couldn't even put his foot on the ground so I rushed him straight to the vets.
When we got there the vet suspected he may have broken his leg as it felt crunchy inside, we talked about the various options, although none seemed to have a very promising outcome in view of his age, health and previous issues with anaesthetics.
On August 19th I took the heart breaking decision to let him go after one last night at home with us, he was on heavy painkillers and got spoilt rotten and slept all night on my lap.
How I miss my little buddy.

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