Tuesday, 4 September 2012

My Brain is Mush

I'm so behind on my blogging it's driving me crazy, I want to write  more in-depth individual reviews about the places we visited on the Isle of Wight on our holiday, as I have some amazing pictures and videos.

I had plans to do an ongoing post about the allotment and how it's growing, I've not even started that one yet and it's nearly Autumn now, so that will have to wait for next year.

I really want to do a review of the Sculpture Park in Churt as it's an amazing place, again I have some amazing pictures of the sculptures. Badger Boo has written his, which can be viewed here although his view of the world is slightly different from the rest of us.

The Jumper is coming along nicely and nearly finished. Plus I've now learnt to knit cables, which was pretty awkward with my stupid fingers that don't always work, but pleased with my efforts and I'm now using them to make a bag, not sure how it will turn out but I'll let you know when it's finished.

Plus I have ideas for all sorts of other posts.

My reason for not doing these things is simple. My brain has turned to mush, I'm taking far too many painkillers which is making it hard for me to think straight. The pain of my Arthritis is really bad at the moment, so I'm just getting through each day as best I can.

I'm also starting to get a bit sick of people at work passing comment and saying "You look ok to me" and I know for a fact most of them think I'm skiving when I don't go in. I wrote a post on this some time ago called Think About It, sometimes the reason I can't go in to work isn't just the pain, it's because the drugs I take (perscription only)  make me so high they seriously impair my judgement.

Mentally I feel a lot better than my last post which is a good thing as I was feeling a lot worse than I actually let on there.

My thoughts are with Lesley and her husband this week, as her beautiful young Boxer dog Themba passed away at the weekend, he had been unwell for a while, but it doesn't make it any easier when it happens. Lesley has written a lovely tribute to him on her blog The Mad Dog Woman of Shackleford.


  1. It's not a blogging race, you know. The posts will get written, it's nice to have loads of ideas. I love your blogging honesty.

    Thank you so much for the kind mention of Themba - I have had such lovely support from my blogging family. One day, Mr B will read all the kind words, he just can't bring himself to at the moment.

    Take care, Dawn x.

    1. Thanks Lesley, I have so much I want to do and write at the moment I find it so very frustrating when my brain goes all mushy, but it's starting to lift a bit now thankfully.

      Since I started blogging I'm finding it so much easier to keep thoughts in line, I used to write in a diary which helped, but putting my thought into a public forum is so much more therapeutic to find out I'm not alone in the way I feel and I have met some wonderful people on here.

      I think sometimes it is harder for men when there is a dog sized hole in their hearts, they believe they have to be strong all the time, and it's harder for them to let go. Everyone's words and condolences are there for when he feels up to it.

      ((((((hugs))))) to you both and Brin too xxx

  2. What are all those notices and signs going around at the moment, Keep calm and, etc, etc. It doesn't matter when you blog, we look forward to and enjoy your posts no matter what. Why do people think that being unwell has to be visible? Makes you feel as though you should wear a sign 'Yes, I know, but believe me I feel like ****'

    Apologies deleted the previous version as it had an error.

    1. Thanks Jill, I know what you mean about wearing a sign sometimes.

      The most frustrating thing at the moment is the person I work with can be very condescending with comments like "Are you sure you feel up to it" and "You don't have to do go out for a walk if your not up to it"

      Believe me if I don't feel up to doing something, then I won't do it! It's hard to explain but it's like I'm not me any more, I'm my condition! Does that make sense?

      No worries about deleting your last comment, I have taken off the thing that said you had deleted it for you.

      How are the darling kittens your are looking after?


  3. I know what you mean Dawn - the pain is overwhelming and as you say, you are not you any more, but we know who are you :0). I am sorry your colleague behaves the way they do - rather patronising really. There are some people who will not believe you are unwell if you are in work, and then those who think you are pulling a fast one if you dare to take time off!

    Thank you for deleting the delete.

    The kittens are doing brilliantly, thank you. They have potential owners coming to visit them tomorrow. I have suggested they try to be on their best behaviour: no beating each other up or using their litter tray in front of the visitors - or a favourite thing is to throw the litter around and play with it!

    Hope you have a good weekend - enjoy the sun, forget work too.

    1. It's the old damned if you do or damned if you don't situation!

      Glad you have some potential forever homes for the kittens.

      I remember when we had an unexpected litter of kittens, the little tykes were like water, spilling out al over the place, Sooo very cheeky but oh so much fun.

      Very hard work they were, people just don't realise the commitment required to raise baby animals and find forever homes for them, or they just don't care! They just think kerching ££££, but as we know it never works out that way and the poor babies get dumped or worse.

      Good luck with the interviews, I would so love another cat, but it would be on its own far too much. I MUST BE STRONG!



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