Day Five ~ Health ~ #BlogFlash2013

Have you ever experienced pain?

Of course you have.

I live with constant pain every day. It's not something I like to go on about, but I feel it needs a mention.Too many people are quick to judge about my state of health because on the outside I look fine.

Most of the time I have a big cheesy grin on my face and am joking about. When in fact it's a cover for that way I'm really feeling! I don't like to go around with a glum face moaning all the time, telling everybody my woes, although too some people that is a way of life. 

I just want to get on with things, live a normal life for as long as I can. Before the pain of my Arthritis takes over completely, and the massively high doses of painkillers I'm on are unable to keep me working and supporting myself financially.

I'm not the only person in this position, many people have inner demons of one sort or another, which may have a massive impact on their lives! It may not be pain, it may be a mental health issue. But what makes people think they have the right to judge our situations?

Have you ever decided you know something about somebodies health, when in fact you know nothing about their situation?

Authors Note:- I originally posted this on  27/11/11 on this blog titled Think About It!!!
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Now Panic and Freak Out

Only two and a half more shifts to go at work and next Wednesday I officially become a retired person Eekk!

 I'm only 47 years old, but they say I'm not fit enough to work there anymore so that will be that.

It has been quite an emotional week.

 Because of the way the shift system works I had to start saying my goodbyes this week, as I won't get to say my goodbyes to some of the wonderful people I have worked with over the last 13 years as they will be on rest days next week. 

Mind you there are some people I'm so glad I will never have to set eyes on or make polite conversation with ever again. Luckily they are only a small percentage of the workforce, most of the people there are brilliant and have been great to work with. Several I consider to be very good friends and I really hope we keep in contact after I leave.

So what will I do with myself?

I have absolutely no chuffin' idea!

Regular readers of this blog will know how much I have fought against this retirement decision, but to be honest I have got to the point now where I'm actually starting to look forward to it.

Love the title of this little book of quotations and thought it very apt lol

My job has kept me clean and sober for 13 of the 15 years since I cleaned up my act and stopped wasting my life. It's not always been easy, I deeply regret the years I wasted staring into the bottom of a Whiskey bottle and being estranged from my son, but I stuck with it and now we have a proper relationship again, and just because I will have time on my hands soon I intend to continue to remain clean and sober.

I love my job but as one door closes another one opens, well hopefully it will after Christmas as I will need to find myself a part time job to support myself **gulp**

A couple of weeks ago I knuckled back down to a healthy eating plan again, I really hate the word diet, I had worked so hard to lose over 7 even stone in 2010/11 and although I haven't put any weight back on, I am still a fatty with rubbish knees who needs to lose another 80 pounds. You can check out my weight loss story here, but I warn you the first picture is truly horrendous!

I've put a weight lose tracker on the left hand side of my blog under the Archive, because if I do it publicly I'm hoping it will keep me on track.  This is what it looks like (see little dog below) and as you can see I have lost 8lbs already, only another 72 to go.

I'm looking forward to spending a lot more time with my family, friends and of course my little dog Badger Boo plus spending time doing things that I enjoy, as for the last couple of years my life has just been work and sleep as I'm always so exhausted.

Through this blog I have had some wonderful support from people I have never even met, plus made some really good friends. I don't know what the future holds but rest assured I will be keeping you  all updated.

News at Last (sort of)

As many of you know the the last nine months have been pure torture for me, because my employer decided that I wasn't fit enough to do my job anymore. 

Yes I have severe Arthritis and yes it was a struggle to do my job, but I'm still able to do my job as a result of some reasonable adjustments that were put into place approx two years ago.

In those two years I have been happy in my work, and had very few sick days. In fact in nearly 13 years of working there, I have never hit the trigger point for disciplinary with my sick days.

I registered my Disabled status with my employer approx five years ago, as with all things computerised, systems get updated and Disability details needed to be re-entered, which I duly did as it's a legal requirement.

As a result of updating my details, I received a letter saying I needed to attend a medical, I have since attended several, all with the same result. 

I'm not fit to work!

I disagreed with these findings, due to the fact I was still at work and doing my job. So a meeting was called and I was interviewed by several people from various departments.

In June I completed all the paperwork for my Medical Retirement/Dismissal very reluctantly, and started my IT course to help me find another job.

As the months dragged on there was no news on the retirement/dismissal/job front and I'm still attending work full time. I would rather stay at work in a job I love, but I have come to accept it's for my own welfare these decisions have been made.

On the 30th October I received a letter stating I was being Medically Retired not Medically Dismissed, which is a massive relief, as I will be getting a small pension. If the findings had been for Medical Dismissal I would in a world of financial hardship, as you can imagine it was a huge relief!

I don't know when I will be actually retiring, there has been no mention. 

I'm still attending work!

It's got to the point that I've had enough! 

They got what they wanted, so just give me a leaving date and let me go! 

Good and Bad all in a Day

Yesterday started off like any other day, with a fistful of pills before I got out of bed, then once they start to kick in it's time to get up and face the day.

Breakfast:- Yummy

Annoyingly my delicious breakfast of pills didn't seem to be casting their magic spell as well as usual. So I decided I had better get up before I fell asleep again. Then pain of my Arthritis started screaming in agony once I started moving. This is not unusual, but yesterday I was in more pain than I usually am when I get up.

Over Shoulder Boulder Holder

Just read a brilliant post by Dr G's Vintage about comfy undies, and thought what a great idea to write a post for the ladies who are endowed with more booby than is practicable.

Now I'm not talking about the fake ones, I'm talking about the real ones. The ones that can make your life a living hell.

I don't know anything about statistics and I've not done a poll, but I do know there are lots of women in this country with such huge breasts they can affect their everyday life. I know this as I have a pair of these huge monstrosities, that I have to lug around 24 hours a day.

 I can't wear pretty delicate lacy underwear, I have to wear something that resembles the scaffolding around Battersea Power Station! 

The delicate stuff just isn't up to the job, the straps are too thin and cut into your shoulders like cheese wire, imagine carrying a really heavy carrier bag all day that's cutting into your fingers and you can't put down. Then there is the problem with the cup size, it's either too low or the material hasn't enough elastic to hold you in, and you get the unflattering double breasted look, or they spill out under the armpits, both of which are very uncomfortable!

Then you get the under-wired ones, manufacturers will have you believe under-wires offer support. They might do if you are of a normal size, but I wouldn't know. When you are carrying around something that is nearly the same weight as a couple of bags of sugar, under-wires do absolutely nothing except dig into your ribs and the skin under your arms, feeling much like they are trying to get into your internal organs.

Very few shops stock the large over-sized  bra's which makes getting new ones difficult. 

The only real option is online, and that can be a nightmare. The manufacture of over-sized bra's has improved greatly over the last 10 years or so, but as any woman knows, you really need to try it on. Manufacturers sizes vary greatly, and so do the shape of womens breasts.

 Last time I went to buy a bra, I was lucky enough to find a shop that had some that were nearly my size. I tried on 17 before I found one that fitted. Great I've found a bra, so I ask for 6 more as I really needed to replace my old ones, only to be told I will have to order the rest as they only carry one size of each style in stock. How frustrating, if I had been of a normal size I could have bought them there and then!

Then there are the physical problems. The constant back pain because of carrying what amounts to a heavy ill fitting rucksack on your front, and the bleeding shoulders because of the constant digging in of the straps, and the never ending war against fungal infections underneath these alien life forms!

Then when it comes to finding clothes, it's yet another nightmare. You can't wear anything strapless, low cut or with thin straps, because of the huge ugly bra you have on underneath.  I hear somebody saying "Why not use Tit Tape?" I'll tell you why, it  isn't up to the job, now if they made it with Superglue then maybe! 

Any seams or lace on the bra show though the front of thin blouses, and you can always see how wide the straps and back strap are through the back of anything tight fitting.

After a lot of years you have had enough of this living hell, so you go to the Doctor to ask for a Breast Reduction. Only to be told that very few are done by the NHS as it is not classed as a medical problem, you will have to go private!

Yet if you want a breast enlargement, all you have to say is the size of your breasts make you feel unhappy about your body image,  and voila you can get bigger breasts on the NHS.

How unfair is that!!!

 

  

A Cunning Plan *but still no answers*

It seems like an absolute age since I last had some news to update on the Job/Medical Retirement/Dismissal interviews.

On Wednesday had another long train Journey this time to Portsmouth. 

HMS Warrior

A Strange Week

I have had the strangest week.

Monday:-  I made what has become the normal round of phone calls, trying to find out what the heck is going on with my job!

Tuesday:-  My back and neck were agony, so had to come home from work early and go to the Doctors, she thinks I may have a spur on my  neck trapping the nerves and making my hands feel all numb and tingly, so need an x-ray doing for that. In fact just remembered, I've still not phoned to make an appointment.

Wednesday:-  What a grotty day at work, with my back still playing up and I was trying to keep my temper as best I could, as a

Spoilt Rotten

In this house there is only one priority, my beloved Badger Boo I don't believe in dressing him up, or feeding him non doggy treats, but he is part of our family and as such gets spoilt rotten.

He goes everywhere with Himself and I and we look forward to the weekends when we spend family time together. So when on Friday night he started to limp we were very concerned, it was nearly midnight. I had to choose did I call the Vet or leave it until Saturday?

After much debate I decided to leave it until the morning as it wasn't a life threatening condition, as a result had very little sleep as he was whimpering most of the night.

I couldn't give him any Paracetamol due to his small size, as it

The Bermuda Triangle

Went for my Medical yesterday, and pleased to say the Doctor was really very nice and considerate of my situation, unlike the woman I saw previously!

But Winnersh Triangle is more like the Bermuda Triangle! Himself and I got off the train, to be confronted by loads of steps to get out of the station, luckily we were early, so I was able to take my time hobbling down them.

Checked the map we were given and set off into a huge industrial estate, after about approx 10 minutes we still hadn't found the place we were going too, even though we were standing on the spot indicated on the map (we are both competent map readers by the way). So started to look around for somebody to ask.

Long story short, after taking the scenic route we did get to the Medical Center eventually on

Hey Fatty Bum Bum

*Screams and covers eyes*

Sorry I should have put a warning on this post, this picture is very scary!!!

The hideous photo that shocked me into losing weight.Only in the album now to make me remember how I never want to look again!!! :- August 2009 - 26 stone 1lb aka 365lbs

When I saw this picture I was in total shock!

 I had no idea how heavy I had become. Approx 5 years before I'd had a very bad fall at work, injuring my left knee and back. Trouble was I was still eating as if I was running everyday and going to the gym. Even though I knew I was FAT, at this point I was still getting about reasonably ok most of the time, but had no idea what I