Getting Very Bored Now!

Went to the Doctor to see if I could get signed as "Fit for Work" today. 

No such luck, got to have another week off, as I have to have my medication reduced. I'm so bored now it's starting to really get on my wick! 

Crikey, I even resorted to making a massive dent in the leaning tower of ironing! 

Yep I know, using foul language isn't very nice I apologise.

Not a lot is happening here, tomorrow I get to wait in for the man to come and rewire the shaver light. He wired it all wrong, so it will only charge if you leave the light on, so it means we've had to leave the bathroom light on overnight just to charge the toothbrushes, how annoying is that!

On Friday I'm getting a haircut Whoopy Do!

Grumpy Bear

After the good mood of last week and everybodies lovely support from going out, I'm sad to say things aren't going so well this week!

I'm back to being exhausted, withdrawn, paranoid, craving the solitude and letting my O.C.D.  take over as it makes me feel so safe.

I wish I knew why these feelings happen, although I suspect it has
something to do with the fact I have to have a medical at the end of this month, to see if I'm fit enough to go back to work. It also mentioned about what would happen if I couldn't go back to work.

Go back to work, bloody cheek of it!!!!

I've only had 9 days sick in the last 12 months, and I suspect it is an excuse to get rid of me to save money!

Consequently I have been spending a fair amount of time worrying about whether I will have a job for much longer, and if not how will I support myself?

It's really hard to explain the totally feeling of dread that has blanketed me at the moment, but it is like all emotion has been sucked out of me and I'm just an empty shell.

The feeling of dread as I drive to work, gets stronger and stronger as I draw nearer, and doesn't start to lift until I am back at home.

Although each time it lifts, it lifts a little less, and that wall I built around myself is getting higher and higher!

Only time will tell how long this latest episode will last, but I hope for my family's sake it doesn't last too long!

Think about it!!!!

Have you ever experienced pain?

Of course you have..

I live with constant pain every day. It's not something I like to go on about, but I feel it needs a mention... Too many people are quick to judge about my state of health because on the outside I look fine, most of the time I have a big cheesy grin on my face and am joking about. When in fact it's a cover for that way I'm really feeling!!

I don't like to go around with a glum face moaning all the time, telling everybody my woes, although too some people that is a way of life. I just want to get on with things, and live a normal life for as long as I can before the pain of my Arthritis takes over completely, and the massively high doses of painkillers I'm on are unable to
keep me working and supporting myself financially.

I'm not the only person in this position, many people have inner demons of one sort or another, which may have a massive impact on their lives! It may not be pain, it may be a mental health issue. But what makes people think they have the right to judge our situations!!!

Have you ever decided you know something about somebodies situation, when in fact you know nothing..

Think about it!!!