It's here again, the enveloping black cloak of Depression and Paranoia, wrapping itself tightly around me.
I can feel it suffocating me as the O.C.D is taking over my life again. I'm exhausted with constant obsessive thoughts racing around my head. I'm struggling to be civil to people, I don't want to talk to them, and I certainly don't want them talking to me. I just want to stay at home where it's safe, I don't want to go out and face the world. I just want to be left alone.
It feels like everyone is out to get me, my job situation is still not sorted. This has been going on since February, I can't make any plans for the future as I don't know how I will stand financially.
There is a saying "Just because your Paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you" well in my case they really are.
I keep getting told I'm not fit enough to do my job, yet I'm still doing it, and until all the stress of this started I was doing it bloody well, now I am just attending.
As a result of all this stress the Panic Attacks are back, how I hate them, so far I have managed to overcome and carry on instead of running away and hiding, but not sure how much longer I can fight them.
My thoughts and emotions are all over the place which is really getting me down, and then to top it all the pain in my back is no better, which is so debilitating.
Right... I've had my whinge about it now, tomorrow I will plaster that stupid grin and go out to face the world again.